Thursday, October 11, 2012

You grew in my heart - not in my belly....

The title of this post says it all!  Its amazing how much I already love this litttle boy I have yet to meet!  My heart aches for him, my mind is going crazy with worry, Im a bit more moody (look out:-), Ive put on a few extra pounds (no stretch marks yet), Ive gone through every cabinet, drawer, closet, and toy box, and anyone who enters my house leaves with an armload of "stuff" they probably never wanted in the first place!  Ive painted J's room, filled his closet  and dresser with tons of clothes, and find myself staring at his room in anticipation of seeing my son in his own room and with our family.  Anyone with children know what I am talking bout?  This whole nesting thing is just as present as it was with my three bio children!  It's different, yes, but it's 100% there.  No, I dont get the opportunity to hear his heart beet,  feel those sweet feet kicking my belly, or feel him hickup inside me (LOVE) but I do get to see pictures of his sweet face and see him smile (by the way I plan on sharing his photo next blog so stay tuned!)  I know that doesnt seem like alot but somehow it is enough to make me head over heels in love with him, just as I was so in love with my three children that grew in my belly.   He is growing more and more in my heart:-)

Alot of postive things have happened since we passed court.  J was transfered to a new "transition home" in a new city where we will be picking him up.  This is HUGE!  HUGE!  For one, the place he was in was in a very remote location where necessities were limited.  The region he was in was also very scary and unsafe.  While many adoptive parents get to see more photos and even hire people to visit their kiddos we could not as his region was too unsafe to enter:-(  BUT, now he is in a different home getting the care he should be, and this home is much safer and even has security guards.  So glad to know my litttle boy is SAFE!  We will be getting more frequent updates as well as communication is much better with this home.  There are families who are there picking up their own kiddos as well so we should be receiving information and photos from them too.  The best part of this move is that this is the END part in this whole process!  This is where the kids whos parents are very close to the finish line are at!  I CANT WAIT!!!!  Even though I am so happy for J to be in better care I am full of mixed emotion.  This poor little guy had been in one orphanage since birth.  Im sure leaving it was just as hard as taking a two year old away from his parents.  That is the only home he has ever known and the caregivers were "his Mommas".  And not to mention he most likely had NEVER driven in a car and definatly not in an airplane!  I wonder if he was scared while he was thousands of feet in the air?  I wonder if he cried?  I wonder who was with him?  Does he understand this is for the better? (doubt it) How confusing this must all be for this child. I cant even imagine what he must be going through. Did they let him say his goodbyes to his foster mommas?  How could we ever thank his foster moms enough for doing the best they could caring for my son for over two years?    We will never know who they are.  Sadly neither will J. 
Once again I ask for your prayers.  Please pray that J can understand to the best of his ability that this is all for the better.  Please pray that The Lord prepares his heart for us, and that the Lord prepares our own hearts and minds for the arrival of our son as we know it is not all going to be easy.  However, this is a challenge I CAN NOT WAIT TO TAKE ON!!!!
God Bless!  Haley

1 comment:

  1. <3 Love this post and your excitement! I can't wait to be at this point. Praying the end moves quickly for you!